Are you practicing Safe Sexting? 3 Easy Steps to keeping it fun and flirty!
For some couples, sexting seems like a fun way to flirt, build intimacy and add some spice to the relationship. So, if both partners want to send and receive the sexy pics, what’s the big deal, right? Wrong! Sexting can get out of hand really fast. People face real problems when nude pictures get into the wrong hands and go viral. Suddenly the image that was meant for her eyes only is all over the school.
You’ve heard of safe sex…now, hkupwithrespect brings you safe sexting! Here are three ways that you can get your cyber game on without putting yourself or your partner at risk for the ugly consequences of viral photos:
This story was submitted to hkupwithrespect a couple of days ago. It’s a little too long for the voting app, but it’s really honest and powerful. What would you do if someone you loved was in this situation?
Everything started off normally. Like every young teenage relationship it all seems perfect. At that age I didn’t wanna speak out about it. I took it day by day thinking it would stop sooner or later. At 14 years old I got pregnant with my first child a baby girl and at 15 I got pregnant with my second baby girl. It only got worse as time went on. During both pregnancies, I dealt with the abuse—being punched in the stomach thrown down half a flight of stairs. It got to the point where a gun was put to my face. I felt weak & spineless as if I didn’t get what was going on when I knew better. I was afraid to talk to anyone about it. I was embarrassed that people would judge me for sticking around. But every woman gets fed up & I was done with the abuse. After 3 years I was done and I called the whole relationship off. This whole experience changed my view on a lot of things. I can’t ever see myself going through it again. In the end it made me a stronger and better person. I’ve seen & been through a lot I can’t complain because now it’s over and I’m happier. Some females wanna make excuses as I did at one point. But it was time for me to stop making excuses & face that abuse can lead to death. Abuse could lead to murder…it’s a dangerous situation. Take a look at yourself & think is it worth it? Let go of the weak excuses & face the facts because if it continues it’ll never stop.
Rini, 18 Providence
TEXTING YOUR WAY TO EX?
Karen,
Relationships are all about balancing rights and responsibilities: Your boyfriend has the responsibility to treat you with respect. And, “blowing up” at you totally violates that…but, I’ll come back to that later. Your boyfriend has the right to his personal space…when you frequently text him to find out “where he is” or “what he’s doing” you violate his right to privacy… that’s not cool.
You say that you keep texting him because he’s not giving you “an answer the first time.” It sounds to me like what you’re actually after is trust…a little assurance that he cares about you and is out there doing the right thing. No problem with that. But when “checking in” takes a turn for the “text bomb”, it crosses the line into controlling and trust breaks down.
I talk to a lot of young people—and not so young people—who think that the way to build trust in a relationship is to know as much about their partner as possible—where they are, what they are doing and who they are doing it with. They think that the more information they have, the more they will trust their partner. So, they do whatever they need to do to get that information—they sneak a peak at their partner’s cell phone, they track their partner’s every move, they hack into their partner’s Facebook or worse!
But when you cross the line and violate your partner’s personal space and privacy, that just causes trust to break down.
Karen, it’s obvious that you care about your boyfriend and want to make things work. So let’s talk about how you can build trust without having to drop the text bomb.
1. Talk it out: Regular and honest communication is the absolute best way to build trust in a relationship. Did your boyfriend do or say something that made you feel concerned or jealous? Let him know how you feel. For best results, approach him calmly—and in person, this is no time for gchat.
2. Digital Boundaries: Lots of couples talk about sexual boundaries—like how long they’ll date before they’ll do it. Well, why not establish some digital boundaries? What’s your daily text limit? How many texts are too many for you and for him? It’s a lot easier to trust someone who understands and respects your boundaries.
3. Trust your instincts—Sometimes when you feel that someone is not trustworthy, it’s because they aren’t. If you find yourself constantly doubting your boyfriend, you might just have a good reason to feel that way. But you’re not going to change the way you feel by keeping your boyfriend on a digital leash. If you just can’t trust your man, it’s time to get out of the relationship.
OK, now back to the whole “blow up” thing. As previously stated, your behavior crossed some boundaries. So, some frustration from your boyfriend is understandable. But it’s just not cool for him to be “blowing up” at you…no matter what you did. You have the right to be treated with respect. When you sit him down for step number 1, definitely be sure to tell him that.
